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Top 10 Games To Rock Your 4th of July

Top 10 Games To Rock Your 4th of July

Sure, most days I think it’s our civic duty to stand back, keeping a healthy and skeptical distance and criticizing our culture and the policies of our government. But not today! Today is ‘MURICA DAY! WOOOO! Hot dogs! Fireworks! Sports! Fire! Pool parties! Reckless abandon that could only be gotten away with in a country that cares so much about freedom that it repeats the word until it has no meaning!

We are the land of the proud, the loud, and the slightly overweight, and it’s time to celebrate that by running a giant red white and blue football into the American endzone of celebration! It’s the 4 th of July, and it’s time to party like you mean it, soldier! So kick back with a beer, fire up the grill, and play some of these all American games this 4 th of July to show your patriotism and to show that you know that Independence Day is something far more that a slightly mediocre Will Smith movie!

Bad Dudes Vs. Dragon Ninja

Bad Dudes Vs. Dragon Ninja

What is more American than proving that fists are more powerful than swords? Bad Dudes Vs. Dragon Ninja is a classic Arcade and NES title, where you are tasked with saving president Ronald Reagan from the evil Dragon Ninja. The secret service has asked you, two badass street brawlers, to make your way through jungles, sewers, underground fortresses, and even New York City to defeat Dragon Ninja and restore freedom to the United States! Are you a bad enough dude to save the president?

The Political Machine 2012

The Political Machine 2012

With the 2016 election coming up, why not take a trip back to 2012 with this government simulator? Step into the shoes of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Mitt Romney, or Sarah Palin, and travel from state to state sinking billions of dollars into your campaign in the hopes that you end up scoring that sweet seat in the White House. You can even resurrect a historical candidate, and laugh yourself to death as you realize that the simulation won’t even let Ronald Reagan win a Republican primary in today’s political climate. Oh, well. At least he isn’t being kidnapped by ninjas.

The Oregon Trail

The Oregon Trail

This might have been the first patriotic game that we ever played, and we got to play it in school. This grueling simulation was supposed to teach us what it was like making the horrible trek out west to settle in early American times. What it taught us was that the Oregon Trail was miserable! That is, unless you are a banker. Bankers start with so much money they can pretty much survive everything. So I guess this game taught us that no problem can’t be solved by throwing tons of cash at it until it goes away, and I don’t think there is any attitude more American than that.

Fantavision

Fantavision

The 4 th of July goes hand in hand with fireworks, and there are actually quite a few fireworks simulators out there. Perhaps my favorite one is FantaVision, originally made as a sort of tech demo for the PlayStation 2. In this game, fireworks of different colors would launch into the sky and linger there before fizzling out into duds. Your goal was to detonate them by selecting one and then guiding a ray to another firework of matching colors. The game got quite fast as time went on, and soon you were orchestrating your own 4 th of July super show at the push of a button! And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air!

Pretty Much Any Sports Game

Pretty Much Any Sports Game

We here in America love our sports, which is exactly why I can’t really select just one sports game to put in this slot. Baseball is the American past time, but football is the most popular game in America. Then there’s basketball, which has had constant rising popularity, and now we are even getting into soccer. So if you really want to celebrate America, pick up a sports game and play as your favorite all-American team! Just don’t pick hockey. That’s Canada’s territory.

Metal Wolf Chaos

Metal Wolf Chaos

If you’ve never heard of this game, why not? Do you hate freedom? Metal Wolf Chaos is a third person shooter for the original Xbox developed by From Software. In it, you play the president of the United States in a giant fighting robot, who is trying to stop a coup initiated by the evil vice president. Your mech comes equipped with firework launchers, football guns, and all sorts of other American themed weapons. I can’t make this up! Yes, the same From Software that creates Dark Souls made a title where the president and vice president have a giant robot battle which destroys half of the world and eventually ends in space. That’s quality game design.

Assassin’s Creed III

Assassin’s Creed III

Did you know that the American Revolution was really just a small stepping stone in the age-old fight between the Assassins and the Templars? Neither did I, until I played Assassin’s Creed III. Heck, I’m sure America wouldn’t have ever been founded if it weren’t for an Assassin named Connor and… aliens, I guess. Relive the events of colonial America by basically killing everything in sight. Once again, I cannot imagine a more American attitude than that.

Saints Row IV

Saints Row IV

In Saints Row IV, you start the game off by punching a nuclear missile into submission, before falling to Earth from the missile, being heralded for your acts, and becoming president of the United States. You keep a tiger in the Oval Office, and your vice president is Keith David. Like, the actual Keith David. Then aliens attack and you get superpowers and have to bust out of The Matrix in order to save the world. Just another day for the President of the United States!

Any Call of Duty

Any Call of Duty

Ahhhh Call of Duty, a series about guns, guns, and guns. Call of Duty catapulted the shooter into stardom here in the U.S., and we can see why. Nearly every Call of Duty game features America busting in to some other country in order to save the day. In Call of Duty, we have managed to save the world from Russia, the Middle East, Vietnam, Japan, a random assortment of South American countries that joined with Mexico for some reason, basically unnamed cyber-terrorists, and even our own capitalist mindset, as portrayed by Kevin Spacey. The whole series is about America coming in to save the day from all the scary, uh, absolutely everything else out there. Yeah. America. We save people!

Broforce

Broforce

Finally, we bring you to the Pièce De Résistance, or at least that’s what I would have said if it weren’t French, and Americans don’t speak French! We speak one language! American! And Brofroce is everything that is America. You take control of a specialized task force of the world’s greatest action movie heroes, from John McClane to Cordel Walker and B.A. Baracus. Your goal is to liberate everyone with guns, and explosions, and a helicopter with a bald eagle pasted on the side. Move through several platforming levels, raising American flags as you go, and eventually killing Satan at the end of every level in order to truly introduce the world to freedom! U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U! S! A!

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