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10 Worst Video Game Covers of all Time

10 Worst Video Game Covers of all Time

EA Sports’ UFC 2 just took another shot to the jaw after its second featured athlete, Conor McGregor, was upset by underdog Nate Diaz. His counterpart, Ronda Rousey, suffered her first ever loss to Holly Holm back in November of last year. If you’re keeping tabs, that makes for two devastating losses and one lackluster video game cover. However, this hilarious circumstance pales in comparison to some of the cover art publishers have allowed to slip out their front doors. Let’s take a look back at the worst cover art in the history of gaming.

Tommy Lasorda Baseball (Sega Genesis)

Tommy Lasorda Baseball (Sega Genesis)

When I think of the Tommy Lasorda Baseball cover, I think of how my grandfather might look in baseball uniform. No, not some fifty years ago, but today – just shy of his 87th year here on plant Earth. Seriously now, outside of him looking like an old fart on the cover, Lasorda literally looks like a wax statue with wooden teeth. Nicely done, Sega.

Cheggers Party Quiz (Nintendo Wii)

Cheggers Party Quiz (Nintendo Wii)

I don’t even know where to start with this one. It definitely follows the theme of creepy cover guy, but why the heck would they use this awful rendition of him? Sure, he’s some proper dude from across the pond, but there’s no reason to make him look like a straight up serial killer. Plus, the guy isn’t even that skinny in real life. Either the developers hated this Bit with every fiber in their bodies, or they just really suck at drawing our neighbors to the Northeast. Either way, its a disaster.

Super Duper Sumos (Nintendo Gameboy Advanced)

Super Duper Sumos (Nintendo Gameboy Advanced)

I’ve never played this little gem before but after catching a glimpse of this cover, I’m glad I haven’t. I’m not sure how the rules of sumo wrestling work, but I’m pretty sure they don’t involve rubbing one’s genitals on the opposition. Then again, they could be pinching one out in a group effort to see who can poop on the guy to their right the fastest. Anyway you slice it, this cover sucks some major rectum, seriously.

Blackwater (Xbox 360)

Blackwater (Xbox 360)

I was always told that you should never judge a book by its cover. Well, whoever told me that priceless piece of advice never took a look at Blackwater and all of its hot garbageness. The game was equally as awful as the creepy wanna-be black ops cover boy. Seriously, what were these guys thinking by putting this nerd bag on the cover? Just because we’re all nerds at heart doesn’t mean we want to play one digitally. Enough said on this flaming pile.

Reality Fighters (PlayStation)

Reality Fighters (PlayStation)

This one could get a free pass because it came during the era of terrible cover art – it was a staple of the times, folks. However, I can’t let this one slide simply because the publishers decided to copy the cover boy three separate times in three equally painful poses. I’m guessing from the cover art that you can only rumble with a skinny guy in a fake superhero costume, a skinny guy in an oversized shirt and tight jeans, and a skinny guy in fresh boxing gear. But wait, it’s a PlayStation exclusive, so it must be good.

Street Hockey ’95 ( Super NES)

Street Hockey ’95 ( Super NES)

Ah, fake diversity in the name of “extreme” culture. There are so many things going wrong in this cover art for perhaps the worst hockey game to ever grace our industry. First, nobody dresses like that to play hockey, and second, street hockey does not involve any kind of judo leg kicks whatsoever. Yes, I am well aware of the ’80s chick in the bottom right corner, because you know not-quite-Rastafarians and refugees from a Jane Fonda workout video are the best representatives of street hockey culture. Yep, them and genital pressing sumo wrestlers.

NBA Jam 99 (N64)

NBA Jam 99 (N64)

I’m totally going to bag on NBA Jam 99 and it’s famed cover boy Keith Van Horn for moment. Outside of being able to name at least 10-15 better players who could have been on the cover, I can also give you at least 20 players who had better scoring averages than my pasty brother, Keith. Let’s not forget to mention he only played 62 games during the 97-98 season, which makes his 19-point average look more impressive than it actually is. The best part about this cover art is the fact that his name is clearly highlighted in the center when they really should have just written, “some tall white guy that casual fans have never heard of.”

Star Fox (Super NES)

Star Fox (Super NES)

This one still makes me laugh hysterically every time I come across it. My rich neighborhood buddy growing up always had every new video game on launch day – it was the greatest and worst thing a kid could have ever experienced. His brother came home with Star Fox for the Super NES one excited afternoon. I remember taking one look and chuckling at that stupid-looking fox staring out into the distance like he was some kind of big deal or something. Little did I know that he was a big deal, but the cover art almost made me walk home that fateful afternoon. I mean, seriously, Star Fox looks like a stuffed version of Zoolander, and believe me, we’ve all had enough Zoolander for one lifetime. Sorry Ben, your movie still sucks.

Phalanx (Super NES)

Phalanx (Super NES)

For you young guns out there, the Super NES was a great system with lots of stellar games. Unfortunately, developers just completely packed it in after the design phase for just about every game made for the console. Thus, you are presented with this heaping pile of garbage. Phalanx is another prime example of good design talent mixed with awkward basement marketing. There’s a reason coders don’t run Fortune 500 companies – they think scary old dudes playing the banjo make a great cover for a space shooter.

Anticipation (NES)

Anticipation (NES)

I really hope this game sold less than 10,000 units because the cover art is the laziest attempt at racism I’ve ever seen. Not only does the cover tell us nothing about the digital board game that lies within, but it also tells the world that only white folks play board games. Seriously, you cram all these people onto the cover and not a single Hispanic, Asian, or African-American made the final cut? Honestly, what were these guys thinking?

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