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CheatCC’s 2016 E3 Awards

CheatCC’s 2016 E3 Awards

If you’re a gamer, E3 is like four days of Christmas at the end of spring. It’s glorious, and we look forward to those four days to thrill us, astound us, and get us excited for the coming holiday season and beyond. Industry leaders typically look at E3 as the most significant opportunity to put their best foot forward and get the world talking about their brands and products. Sometimes that leads to incredible reveal trailers, sometimes it means an elaborate stage show, and sometimes it means trying way too hard and making everyone cringe. We got a little bit of everything this year, so it’s time to wrap up the best of the best, and laugh at the rest.

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Loudest Crowd Reaction: Kratos Is Back

Loudest Crowd Reaction: Kratos Is Back

Sony began its conference perfectly. No one said a word. A giant, live orchestra made sure that everyone was alert and engaged, and after its powerful performance everything faded to darkness and silence. Roll the trailer. We don’t see anything familiar right away. A scarred and worldly young boy plays with warrior dolls in the snow until a deep, severe voice summons him to the darkness of a small hut. Attention piqued, we listen as we-know-not-who asks the boy if he knows how to hunt, which he answers in the affirmative. We hear a stir as the powerful stranger begins to move from beyond the shadows of the hut interior. “Then show me what you know,” he says as he steps into the light. “I am hungry.” It’s f#cking Kratos. Cue the screams, whistles, war-cries, and profanity. I even clapped out loud at my computer. The hype from that one moment drove and sustained the remainder of the evening. Well played, Sony. Well played.

Best Indie Showing: We Happy Few

Best Indie Showing: We Happy Few

There’s something about We Happy Few that reminds me of the first time I saw a trailer for BioShock . I bet you remember the first time you saw the BioShock reveal trailer, don’t you? It felt like video game narrative was taking a step forward into darker, more significant territory. The game felt important because it was so captivating, and I knew that there was an intense social / cultural commentary beneath the surface. I’m getting that vibe from We Happy Few as well, albeit with less subtlety. Our protagonist grew weary of constantly popping happy pills that clouded his mind and replaced his gruesome reality with pleasant images and feelings. As the effects of his medication wore off we started to see some grisly scenes – at an office party, after taking a swing at a piñata, it burst open, spraying him with blood. As his coworkers dove in to devour the candy, he looked down to find a dead rat being consumed. It went downhill from there, of course, and the audience was left shocked and intrigued.

Biggest Live Demo Fail: Final Fantasy XV

Biggest Live Demo Fail: Final Fantasy XV

During Microsoft’s E3 conference, Final Fantasy XV director Hajime Tabata was joined on stage by senior marketing manager Mathew Kishimoto for a special combat demo. Mat set us up with some big expectations. He explained that Noctis and his allies were to be found battling an enormous titan when, suddenly, the opposing army joins the fray and a chaotic battle ensues. “Hell yes,” I thought, “this is going to be explosive.” It was not. What followed was about three minutes of Mat dodging a giant, sweeping arm that took up the entire screen from an enemy that performed the same two attacks repeatedly. The camera swooped clumsily about, party members seemed to be wandering aimlessly, and there was very little combat to be seen. The whole thing ended very abruptly with a cutscene showing everyone throwing a Blizzara spell at the Titan, shattering his arm. I sincerely hope that combat in the actual game is more engaging than that demo, because it left everyone incredibly underwhelmed.

Biggest WTF Moment: Ubisoft Conference Opening

Biggest WTF Moment: Ubisoft Conference Opening

Ubisoft opened up its presentation with a (literal) song and dance that I’ll never forget. I was expecting things to kick off with maybe a Ghost Recon trailer or some French guy talking about a new FPS MMO. Instead I was greeted by dancers dressed in their three-ring finest, accompanied by lions, giraffes, and rainbows as they blasted through some showstopping dance moves choreographed to Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now.” Even after figuring out it was celebrating Just Dance 2017 I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it. If you missed it, then go look it up on YouTube right now – it’s like a Broadway musical meets an LSD trip.

Most Unexpected Reveal: Resident Evil VII

Most Unexpected Reveal: Resident Evil VII

An extremely eerie and unsettling game was shown off for PlayStation VR during Sony’s conference. A few seconds in I “noped” super hard and turned down my volume. We watched as the main character slowly explored a gritty, decaying old manor. The suspense was palpable, as was the curiosity. The noises from the crowd were hilarious: anxious moans and nervous hums mixed with whispers and low chatter. No one knew what we were watching. Is this the new Silent Hill? Maybe a VR version of Outlast? Finally, after a chaotic montage, we saw the title: Resident Evil VII . We don’t know anything about it yet, but we do know it’s going to be different from any other Resident Evil .

Most Uncomfortable Cringe Moment: The Green Carpet

Most Uncomfortable Cringe Moment: The Green Carpet

The green carpet is what I’m calling the entire pre-show leading up to the world premier of Battlefield 1 64-player multiplayer. EA made a big to-do out of the whole thing, and invited a lot of celebrities to come play its new competitive shooter. Apparently they were all getting high as a kite before the event began. Jamie Foxx and Zac Efron seemed especially baked, and poor Zac could barely string more than three words together when the mic was put in front of his face. I know the feeling, bro. To make things worse, host Jose Sanchez was doing his damndest the entire time to be cool as he interviewed hot shots like Snoop Dog and Wiz Khalifa. He’s not cool; none of us are cool, there’s no use in pretending. It was hard to watch, but we just couldn’t look away.

Most Exciting Hardware Reveal: Project Scorpio

Most Exciting Hardware Reveal: Project Scorpio

Microsoft revealed its next console, which is huge, but I still feel like this is cheating a bit. I feel that way for a few reasons: the console doesn’t even have a name yet, we have no idea what it looks like (Microsoft probably doesn’t either), and there are no games officially in development for it yet. This hardly counts as a hardware reveal at all, except it’s the talk of the town. The fact that Microsoft was able to queue up a line of trusted developers in its promotional trailer, all talking about how powerful Scorpio will be and how it’s a developer’s dream come true… well, that means something. Based on the specs they shared with us during the reveal, we know it’s going to be a beast, and Phil Spencer said that when it comes out it’ll be the most powerful console in the world. That’s a huge promise, and the world wants to know if Microsoft can deliver.

Best Conference: Sony

Best Conference: Sony

Sony didn’t waste our time with any fluff. Apart from a short (but sweet) orchestral introduction, the majority of Sony’s presentation was focused on games; no suits droning on about the past successes and visions for the future, no attractive celebrities feigning interest in and selling us a product, no dancing giraffes, just games. At one point I saw five, top-notch trailers roll back to back with no breaks in between, and it was wonderful. And these weren’t just any ‘ol multi-plats, either! We’re talking God of War, The Last Guardian, Horizon: Zero Dawn, Crash Bandicoot , and more. We got everything we wanted from Sony, and even some stuff we didn’t know we wanted. Plus, Hideo Kokima showed up with a weird and wonderful new trailer for his PS4 exclusive. It was epic, and I wish I could watch it for the first time all over again.

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