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5 Reasons the New Ghostbusters May Suck

5 Reasons the New Ghostbusters May Suck

Let’s face it, this movie is going to suck worse than going back to school after the summer has ended. There’s nothing new and exciting about the reboot and it certainly doesn’t offer any hints of capturing that sweet nectar of old school nostalgia.  You can call this a hate piece all you want, but after you finish reading my five reasons why we know this film is going to bomb, you just might change your mind. Let’s take a dive behind the public urinal that is the new Ghostbusters film and see what we can unearth.

It’s Just a Reboot

It’s Just a Reboot

If you were expecting some type of epic tie-in between the original Ghostbusters to the brand new one, you’ll be sadly disappointed. Rather, this movie is essentially the original but with a cast of all female characters. Nope, no unique elements for these new characters to shift and mold with, just ’80s humor with an odd cast of female actresses.

There’s Not a Lot of Promotion

There’s Not a Lot of Promotion

Usually, a lack of press means one of two things – either the studio doesn’t know what a goldmine they have lying under them or they know they’ve got straight hot garbage and begin cutting their losses before the critics can annihilate them Chuck Norris-style. With the case of Ghostbusters , I’ve seen two trailers in the past two months and they were both in theaters. Case in point; this one’s going to suck.

Terrible Visuals

Terrible Visuals

I hope I’m not the only one that has noticed the basement-coded CGI in the film trailers. If you haven’t managed to come across the visuals of Ghostbusters yet, which is entirely possible based on our last claim, you haven’t missed much but dreadful design. The interns that put this one together might need a few more months of polishing before being let out into the real world.

We’ve Seen It All Before

We’ve Seen It All Before

Let’s be honest for a moment. The only reasons Ghostbusters did so well during its 1984 release were its epic cast of characters and the fact that the world had never seen anything like it before. The new Ghostbusters film removes both of those elements. We’ve been there and done that; time to move on.

It’s a Cash Grab

It’s a Cash Grab

The new Ghostbusters movie reminds me of any time a popular video game from yesteryear gets “remastered” and released on the latest consoles. The marketing buildup is all about resurrecting an old classic and gamers fawn over the prospect of acquiring their favorite game, again, on their new favorite system. Yet, the minute they pop that bad boy in, they realize they’ve fallen hook, line, and sinker for a con. Ghostbusters is the same – it’s all about a cash grab and nothing more.

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