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10 Lies Gamers Tell

10 Lies Gamers Tell

We’ve all done it. We’ve gotten into a group of our fellow gamers and engaged in heated discussions about games, their content, and the systems they run on. That’s when it happens: We start talking and words are coming out that may not be exactly true. But for some reason we just can’t stop ourselves. We can’t let our fellow gamer friends know that we may be behind the times on hardware or that we may have not even played the game they are talking about. This week, we’ll examine some of these little lies that gamers tell.

Hardware

Hardware

Gamers are all about their hardware. Which level of Xbox 360 or PS3 they have. It has been my observation that guys will straight up lie to their friends about what system they are using. I find this to be especially true when a new or limited edition comes out and one guy or girl in the group just got one. At this point, not to be one-upped, someone else in the group inevitably chimes in with how awesome their new system is as well – even if they don’t really have one. For example, when the new PS4 comes out, just watch and see how many people claim to have stood in line and gotten the last one. Then go to their house, especially if they protest, and see for yourself.

Marathon

Marathon

Gamers love all-nighters and game marathons. Companies like Mountain Dew and Little Caesar’s have capitalized on this. They know that we gamers will do anything we can to prolong our sleep-wake cycle so that we can finish a game before anyone else does. This is where I also have observed many gamers telling tall tales concerning their marathon-ing exploits. People will lie about how they stayed up for three days straight playing Skyrim and leveling their character up to ungodly levels. The truth is, they were probably flopped into a pile on their couch and snoozing away, clutching their favorite teddy bear and dreaming about roaming around with Sora and Riku, fighting the Heartless.

Accessories

Accessories

Headsets seem to be the biggest point of un-truth concerning gamers. That, or wireless modem speeds, although I tend to see the latter more with PC/Mac gamers. Custom and modded controllers tend to be another huge thing for one-uppers and liars. It’s true that gamers love their toys and we love talking about them. But why do some guys and girls feel it’s necessary to spout off about something they read online and try to pass off that they own one? Those who are in the know about those specific accessories can almost always spot a phony. Bottom line — don’t try to BS a peripherals junkie. You will lose every time.

Epic Kills

Epic Kills

We have all seen incredible footage on YouTube and other social media sites of people destroying wave after wave of their enemies in online play. We have all seen insane kill/death ratio videos as well. Keeping this in mind, how many times have you heard someone spinning some crazy story about how they jumped out of an airplane on Battlefield 3 and sniped some guy while falling? Afterwards, they stole his truck and went on some deranged killing spree that sounded more like something from Natural Born Killers than Battlefield. I don’t know about you, but I think the stories are always funny, especially when someone calls them out.

Shaming Noobs

Shaming Noobs

There are really only two kinds of noobs in gaming: There is the kind that is brand new to the game, feeling his or her way around, learning the control style and gameplay; then there’s the useless bag of flesh that is roaming around and tossing grenades at anything that moves and driving vehicles into their own teammates. We have all talked S#!t to these people. We are all guilty of it at some point, some of us more than others. But there’s always that one gamer in every group that has to tell some story about mercilessly shaming some noob who didn’t do this or do that. We all know that person. We all know they really aren’t that good themselves, which is why they have to practice the art of shaming noobs, because seasoned gamers eat them for lunch.

Undefeated

Undefeated

I have personally seen arguments over kill/death ratios on Call of Duty result in fistfights. Gamers love to brag about their achievements and hate to be showed up by anyone. Some gamers will tell amazing tales of their online exploits and may be selling it well. But, inevitably, someone will come along who was in that game or knows someone who was. These vanguards of truth will tell an altogether different story about how those braggers may not have actually earned the glory they are trying to garner from their friends. KDRs are how we all measure ourselves in online shooters. Having a great KDR is the true purpose behind playing online shooters in the first place. It gives you the ultimate bragging rights. But be ready to prove your status and skill if someone throws down the gauntlet.

Kills Claimed

Kills Claimed

Certain additions to online multiplayer such as claiming your kills by gathering the dog tags of fallen enemies have led to a new level of gaming bad-assery. You may get a few points for popping someone’s grape from the other side of the map, but the mother lode is getting to the corpse before anyone else and getting a memento that gives you the ultimate score for your kill. This is where I hear guys argue a lot: They argue about whose kill it was and why they deserve the dog tags. Usually gunfights break out, more people die and then someone who has been watching all of it swoops in and grabs the disputed tags. Not everyone in the dispute deserves those tags, and those posers deserve all the pawnage they receive.

I’ve Played That

I’ve Played That

Being a former member of gaming retail management, I am guilty of this one. I would read extensively on games I didn’t really care about so that I would have something to talk about with people that came into my store. But I have seen it happen within my circle of friends as well. When Infamous 2 came out, me and some friends were discussing some of the newer features of the game when one of our group starting talking like they knew what was up. But as he spoke, we realized that he was talking about the first game. We called his bluff and he admitted to not having played it yet. We slapped him around for being stupid and then I loaned him a copy of the game and told him to play it for himself.

Defeat

Defeat

Never admit defeat. It’s one of the many unwritten laws of gaming. It’s OK to get trounced in a match. It’s OK to get humiliated by the person who shot you down. But it is not OK to admit that they legitimately beat you. It is perfectly acceptable to side step the issue and fabricate a plethora of excuses why their win is coincidental. This is the truth of gaming. We all love the sting of battle and the adrenaline pumping through our veins as we engage in righteous combat. But we all find it abhorrent to be the one on the receiving end of someone else’s pummeling. It doesn’t matter if your arena of choice is Halo, CoD, Battlefield, Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, Gears of War, or whatever; losing is absolutely not an option. And even if technically you did lose at something, the truth of it is that the guy just got lucky.

Prestige

Prestige

Those of you who follow the “eat, sleep, prestige,” mantra are the absolute worst at lying about your conquests. I have heard more insane stories about ridiculous level ups that are not and could not possibly be based in fact…unless of course you are cheating. Prestige hogs cannot stand to be out done by their peers. I have worked midnight releases where guys come in and grab their game and head out only to be in the store the very next afternoon talking about how they prestiged ten times the night before. They spun stories about how they wrecked shop throughout the servers they were on and how no one could touch them and how they t-bagged every loser they killed. So hat’s off to you, Prestigers. You guys and gals win the top slot this week, and you won’t even have to lie about it.

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