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10 Terrible Comic Book Games to Avoid

10 Terrible Comic Book Games to Avoid

Superhero games have been really good, for a long time running, as of late. Batman: Arkham Asylum started this trend, and Marvel Games is getting ready to unleash high-quality content from myriad developers. The days of rushed-out Activision projects crowding the shelves on a yearly basis are ending. Mobile games aside, superheroes are on the cusp of a videogame boom. But notice I’m talking mostly in the future tense. Superhero games have been around forever, and we all know what that means.

Bad games.

Really bad games.

Here are the 10 worst games based on comics ever.

Image Credit: Maciej Mentek

Spider-Man and X-Men in Arcade’s Revenge (SNES)

Spider-Man and X-Men in Arcade’s Revenge (SNES)

Spider-Man and X-Men in Arcade’s Revenge is trash! It’s confusing, each level presents a totally different set of rules, and the controls make no sense. Pick a level, stumble around and die. That’s this game in its entirety. It also happens to be one of the ugliest superhero games out there, with tiny, blurry sprites that look more like a poorly programmed algorithm than sprites drawn by a human person with any amount of creative energy.

The Uncanny X-Men (NES)

The Uncanny X-Men (NES)

I almost bought The Uncanny X-Men recently, because it has seriously dope box art. However, I had the foresight to look up some footage online, because I am not an utter fool. This game looks unplayable. It sort of resembles a top-down shooter, with squishy little versions of the X-Men trucking away from the screen and dealing with pixel-shooting baddies all over the screen. It sounds fun, but the characters move with a sluggishness that betrays the size of the sprites, so the player just bumbles around and absorbs damage.

Superman 64 (N64)

Superman 64 (N64)

Superman 64 is so famously bad that it’s a cliché to include it, but illogical not to. Trying to even get through the first level of this travesty is almost impossible. (I’ve done it though, because I’m great.) Superman has to fly through a series of rings with nonsense controls and a nasty time limit. My favorite part is the weird rip-off of Forsaken in the multiplayer mode. Who wanted that?

Catwoman (PS2, Xbox, GameCube, GBA, PC)

Catwoman (PS2, Xbox, GameCube, GBA, PC)

Before Suicide Squad , Catwoman was the bottom of the barrel when it came to movies based on DC properties. So, of course there’s a console videogame based on it from EA, back when EA was at peak levels of not giving a crap about quality control. EA has grown as a publisher/collection of developers, but Catwoman will forever be a reminder of the dark ages.

The Tick (SNES, Genesis)

The Tick (SNES, Genesis)

The Tick should have been good. 90’s superhero beat ‘em ups usually were, because how can you mess that up? Just borrow from The Simpsons : toss in references and catchphrases, make it fast-paced and button-mashy, then collect dollars. Nope, instead The Tick has, like, one catchphrase, slow combat, and levels that last for what feels like several eternities warped over one-another in a tortuous, ninja-punching time loop. It’s like a Groundhog Day filled with nothing but disappointment and no escape.

Batman: Dark Tomorrow (GameCube, Xbox)

Batman: Dark Tomorrow (GameCube, Xbox)

Batman: Dark Tomorrow was awesome on paper. Unique look from a published artist, original story from published writers, random developer with no reputation. Wait, what? This was a game with a ton of ambition, but no ability, time, or resources to actually deliver on its premise. A lot of thought went into this game for sure, but it ended up clumsy and broken. Forcing your way through led to an interesting story, but nobody cared.

Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis (GameCube, Xbox)

Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis (GameCube, Xbox)

Aquaman gets a lot of grief as a character. That’s malarkey; Aquaman rules and he even looks like the only halfway decent part of the upcoming Justice League flick. But nobody takes him seriously to the point that one of his recent comic book series played off that on a meta level. So of course when someone makes a videogame about him, like Aquaman: Battle for Atlantis, it’s a weird mess that was probably made to make sure some suit could keep the rights. This game was just sort of unremarkable GameCube and Xbox-era action mush. Oh well.

Watchmen: The End is Nigh (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)

Watchmen: The End is Nigh (PS3, Xbox 360, PC)

Watchmen: The End is Nigh was a no-budget beat ‘em up based on a bloated budget, thoughtless adaptation of a lionized comic book from the “everything is dark and gritty and subversive” era of comics. Quick tie-ins to movies as console games were dying out at this point, so the ones that did come out were even worse than you would expect. Not even its multiplayer was compelling, as it cut the frame rate in half.

Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth (Xbox 360, Wii U)

Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth (Xbox 360, Wii U)

Marvel Avengers: Battle for Earth was a weird one that showed up for Xbox 360s with Kinect and the Wii U. Why make a real Marvel fighting game when you can do bad motion control stuff with shared animations and zero fanfare? This was the kind of game you picked up because it was one of a few options, and you sit there and play it while desperately searching for a reason to justify your purchase. That never happens, and your despair is only masked by your brain’s ability to push bad memories away. Thank goodness for evolution.

X-Men: Destiny (PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, DS)

X-Men: Destiny (PS3, Xbox 360, Wii, DS)

It’s tough to write about games when they’re just boring, so luckily X-Men: Destiny came out to make all our jaws collectively drop in awe of just how bad a videogame can be. X-Men: Destiny had the surface ambition being something similar to a Mass Effect game, but the planning and depth of a crayon drawing on one of those “entertain your poorly-mannered children” papers at family restaurants. You pick a character, mash buttons, and laugh at all the corner-cutting and poor design leading to something only fans of Mystery Science Theater could appreciate.

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