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7 Funny Ways to Get Kicked out of GameStop

7 Funny Ways to Get Kicked out of GameStop

GameStop: the very name strikes either terror or amore in the hearts of gamers. For some, it is a haven for cheap forgotten games. Others consider it a torture chamber of borderline neglectful pricing. No matter what GameStop means to you, the fact still remains that you have entered its plastic and merch filled halls on occasion. But what to do when you just don’t want to be there any more?

Why not get yourself kicked out? Just follow these parodic options in order to free yourself from the grasp of GameStop.

Ask for Real Loot Boxes

Ask for Real Loot Boxes

“What do you mean loot boxes aren’t real?!” One easy way to get yourself kicked out of GameStop is to make a scene. What better topic to make a scene about than everyone’s favorite loot boxes. There’s bound to be a handful of ignorant Bills and Janes out there who think loot boxes are real life items. So get crazy with it and demand the GameStop employees show you the real thing. It’s sure to cause a tizzy, and get you that boot out the door you so desire. Just make sure you don’t say “loot crate,” because you actually can pick those up in stores like F.Y.E.

Ask for a Fair Price

Ask for a Fair Price

Oooh, burn! ‘Cause everyone knows that a fair price for a used game you’re trying to sell is the stuff of myths and legends. Demand that you receive an applicable price for your prized possessions, and see yourself laughed right out the door. “This is GameStop. Not whatever fantasy world you’re living in, sonny!” It’s funny because it’s true, but also sad… so very sad.

Camping Needlessly

Camping Needlessly

Midnight releases for games can be an all night affair. In some cases, they’ve even lasted as long as an entire day! You just can’t wait for The Sims 12 to release; get to setting up that tent! The tired and bored retail employees within GameStop are bound to get a good laugh out of your bleary-eyed, onsie-wearing visage when you tell them what title you’re waiting for. At the very least, it’s a chance to get out of the house and get back to nature! Don’t forget the s’mores!

Buy Games from Other Customers

Buy Games from Other Customers

Sometimes reality is stranger than fiction, my friends. This method has been tried and true, according to a personal source who shall remain unnamed. If you’re looking to score a deal, make someone’s day, and get yourself tossed out of GameStop, this is a one-two-three punch! Wait until someone comes in with some games to sell, and offer to buy them from them at a fair price. They get more money than they ever would have otherwise, you get some sweet new games, and GameStop loses out on a sale. What more could you ask for?

Dance Like No One’s Watching

Dance Like No One’s Watching

Hey, sometimes you just gotta get jiggy with it, right? Ugh, never in my life did I think I’d use the term “get jiggy with it” unironically, I think I’ve reached a new low… but the point still stands! Sometimes, the mood strikes and you’ve just gotta bust a move. Take some of your more lewd dancing skills into the front window of the store, and you’re sure to see a new shade of red on the GameStop manager’s face.

Battletoads…’Nuff Said

Battletoads…’Nuff Said

This is an oldie, but goodie that’s totally ready for a comeback. Head to your local GameStop or just pick up the phone and give them a dial. When you get a mildly interested employee’s attention, ask them if they have Battletoads (especially for the Wii). Half of them will probably be confused, others might get angry, but if you’re lucky you might find that gem in the haystack who gets the reference. Be prepared for the inevitable request to shove off.

Sexual Favors for Consoles, Anyone?

Sexual Favors for Consoles, Anyone?

Here’s our number one, “don’t do this at any GameStop or really anywhere” list entry. Don’t try to trade sexual favors for consoles, video games, or merch. Just don’t do it. The last thing you need is a clerk telling you to please zip up your pants while they call the police to have you arrested for public indecency. It’s just not worth it. Pick up some more shifts at the office, help your elderly neighbors by mowing their lawn, or whatever you can do for some extra cash. That’s a much more productive way to get that new title that’s been driving you mad, and frankly less embarrassing.

Have you been kicked out of a GameStop before? Let us know how it happened in the comments below!

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